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I Thought I Had Lost My Mind

I just had a harrowing episode. It’s ok, I’m through it now, but I thought that was it for a while.

An earworm, coupled with a total mental block as to what it was clung onto my soul like a limpet to Welsh rock pool.

Around and around it went in my brain, like an unconscious drunk on a children’s roundabout, always close to vomiting.

In my mind’s jukebox was a terrifying melange of “Shot By Both Sides” by Magazine, “Gary Gilmore’s Eyes” by The Adverts, and “Echo Beach” by Martha and the Muffins. But every now and then they would resolve themselves into one of my favourite riffs of all time.

But what was it? It’s name was erased from my brain by some witchcraft, trying to recall the artist was like trying to shake hands with a fart. Gone before your fingers met, and a little stinky.

I remembered the song was the inspiration, musically, for “Runaway Town”, a song I wrote. It didn’t help. Then that added itself to the mix.

There was only one thing for it. I took my lunchbreak and stalked off towards HMV.

I began to read the little black PVC cards with the artist names on one-by-one, hoping for inspiration. In the background Guy Garvey sang.

Then there it was! Standing proud, like a ferret in a goldfish bowl: The Auteurs.

Ladies, gentlemen, and none of the above, I give you: “Lenny Valentino”

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