Luncheon 14/01/08

Today I was late again. Therefore, I did not prepare myself a tasty luncheon at home. I decided instead to go to the French Connection Baguette House in the sprawling, cosmopolitan metropolis that is Walsall. Therein, I purchased one of their finest chicken baguette meal deals. My chicken filling of choice was Mexican Chicken, salad, but no tomato. This final detail is important. I am a learned chap, especially in the ways of eating. I am no master, by any means, one cannot master eating, one can only improve. In my years of tortuous study, I have learned that the bane of the sandwich is the tomato. Fresh tomatoes and sandwiched should not mix. Tomato based condiments, for example, a nice chutney, are fine. In fact, more than welcome is the tomato chutney to say, the turkey sandwich. I digress. Sliced tomato should be kept clear of sandwiches by any means necessary. Firstly, they soggify the sandwich. The jelly-like substance which suspends the seeds, soaks into the bread and makes it slimy and nasty. Secondly, in most sandwich shops, the emphasis is on speed and low cost, the tomatoes are usually flavourless balls of pulp on their last legs. Nasty. Thirdly, the skin gets stuck in my gappy teeth and pulls the whole tomato slice out in one big long chain of slop, all over my chin and shirt. So, in conclusion, tomatoes, no! The rest of the meal deal consisted of a bag of Cheese Doritos and a can of Sprite. ALl for the princely sum of £2.95, bargain!

Not a very impressive photo I know, but what did you expect? Any way, the Mexican Chicken is a fine beast, chicken in mayo spiced with chilli and paprika and mixed up with diced red onion and green peppers. Its one of my favourite sandwiches ever. I doubt it’s incredibly healthy as it’s full of mayonnaise. Also today, I have consumed a banana, a bowl of porridge and a massive carrot. I have an apple and two satsumas left too. Woo!

Oh yes! I forgot to mention, I used to go to the FCBH, very often but I must admit I haven’t been for well over a month now. I am most disappointed with the sandwich peripherals. What I’m talking about are the carrier bags and the baguette sleeve thingies. Firstly, the baguette holster used to be a nice thick paper one with all of the paraphernalia for the shop printed upon it. Now its a plain white one of sub-standard quality which gets soggy and leaks. The carrier bags, well, she ripped one putting my crisps in, then put that one inside another one, which was destroyed before I left the shop. It had the thickness of a Rizla and the strength of a 120 year-old, muscular-atrophied leper…

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